Sniffles

Caught a bad flu, sniffling in front of the tube. It's not a pretty sight, I tell you.

My pregger sister has started nesting, and then destroyed the nest because, wth, she's just the average poster girl for mass destruction. Whenever she thinks she's on to a good thing, I can't help but think that the beauty of it being new will last only as long as it's new and exciting. After the magic of it has faded, she'll destroy whatever efforts she's put into it. There is no rhyme or pattern, just the same downward spiralling path she takes in her every endeavor. I knew, when she started nesting at week 20 of her pregnancy, that the new undertaking will end before it will even begin. Now that I'm sitting on the war-torn bedroom set aside for the baby, I hated my guts for not fighting the gut feeling. I bet when she's on her last few weeks, which is in March, she'll rely on me and my mom helping her to fix everything so everything will be warm and cozy when the baby arrives. I'm evil, I know, and I have absolutely no sympathy for a pregnant woman. But see, today, it's nesting, and then a few weeks after this, it's the child-rearing, and after the infant stages, lord knows what comes next. I think my mom and I are quickly becoming married into the little mess that she is building and calling a family.

These anti-sister thoughts are floating around my brain whether or not I want them to.

She's already vacuumed this room, but somehow, it still manages to mix dust with the air I breathe. I think I'm getting worse.

Puede ba?

Puede bang sabihin ko sayo
Na sobrang lungkot ko
Na sa tuwina'y naririyan ka
Ang mundo ko'y tuluyang umiikot
patungo sayo, patungo sa kahapon
Masayang mapait na masakit
Kasi alam kong yun ay nakaraan na
At di na maibabalik
Ng paminsang-minsang pagsulpot mo
Nais kong namnamin ang bibihirang
sobrang oras at atensyon mo
Nais kong ibalot ang katawan ko ng
matatamis na alaala at isipin
Dahil andyan ka kahit malayo
Sobrang napakalayo
Pero sa bawat galak
Kaakibat ang pait, ang hapdi
Dahil alam ko sa diwa ko
Wala na, walang wala na
Matagal na at di na babalik
Patuloy lang ako maiinggit at
Hihiling sa hangin
Na sana ako na lang
Na sana ako pa rin sa huli
Ngunit wala na talaga
Walang-wala na.
Wala na.
Pero puede ba?

Huwag

Parang awa mo na

Pigilan mo

Itigil mo

Iwasan mo

Iwasan mong bumalik 

Sa mundong madilim

Itigil mong sundan

Ang aninong nakabalatkayo

Pigilan mo ang isip mo

At ang puso mong mahina

Parang awa mo na

Huwag na

Tama na

Tapos na

Tapos na ang lumang istorya nyo

Tama na ang panahong sinayang mo

Huwag mo ng saktan ang pagkatao mo

Parang awa mo na. 

Durug na durog ka na. 

Kaya huwag. 

Huwag.